i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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