and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
MIDGETS
????
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
