The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
