I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
