i don't like sucking hair
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
