I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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