Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
