can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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