i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
