im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we're making bets on your personal life
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
