a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i came on her dog
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
