i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
