Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
