Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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