just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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