I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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