I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so let's talk penis.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Terrible idea I love it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
