every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is Oprah even human
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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