you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
