I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
