Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
