Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
