You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
