Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
