Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
