I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Even my vagina gasped.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
