The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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