i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
