I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
