Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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