my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Randomize
