Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
