I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
