Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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