I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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