Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
