Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
