just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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