Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
