oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have post one night stand depression
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
