Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
