ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
