absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
