it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
