i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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