She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
