I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she peed on how many people?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
