I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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