Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
