I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
