i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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