i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
