The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
